When I wrote about “anniversary” being a horrible word for marking the time since a loved one died, a friend texted me with this word. Yahrzeit. It’s Yiddish, which neither of us speak, but maybe we should learn.
Pronounce, as best as I can tell, yart–site, it means the anniversary of a loved one’s death, especially a parent’s. Again, I don’t speak Yiddish and I actually don’t personally know anyone who does, so I maybe I’m not quite using it right, but I’m totally adopting this word into my vocabulary.
On Vance’s yahrzeit, my friends showed up big. There was pizza, cinnamon rolls, Pepsi, cookies, cards, texts, messages, flowers, a memorial stone and lots and lots of love. Apparently, food is the primary love language of my tribe and I am not complaining.
Can I just give you a little something here? Be the friend who shows up for yahrzeit. Send the card. Make the call. Bring the pizza. It doesn’t have to be a giant or expensive thing. A single flower and a handwritten note both hold great healing power. Showing up for your friends is huge. Huge! Set a reminder on your phone or in your calendar and check in on that friend who just might need a little extra that day.
I haven’t always done this for my loved ones but I’m sure going to try to do it more from now on.