This morning I stood in my kitchen, making sausage biscuits (which was my go-to for Vance to take to work for his crew/class) and listening to Kenny and Dolly sing “Islands in the Stream.”
Without thinking, I started dancing around the kitchen, something I used to do all the time but haven’t done for a while. As I caught myself spinning to the music, I caught myself remembering myself catching Vance watching me with a smile. I saw that grin and felt that strong presence come up behind me, putting those arms around my waist, hips swaying with mine.
And then Deana Carter’s “Strawberry Wine” came on. It was released in 1996, shortly after Vance came back to Kansas and noticed I wasn’t a kid anymore. I was 19, not 17 like the girl in song, but I was certainly “caught somewhere between and woman and a child” at the time.
One restless summer we found love growing wild. On the banks of the river, on a well beaten path. It’s funny how those memories they last.
…The hot July moon saw everything…
The song certainly doesn’t parallel our relationship in any other way, but as I sang along, I caught myself struggling to breathe. Suddenly there were just these giant sobs that caught me off-guard as memories of us in our youthful, head-over-heals days flooded over me.
It’s not fair when they do that. When the sobs just come out of nowhere.
It’s been 271 days and they. just. keep. coming.
I knew it would be this way. I even told you it would, right at the beginning. My head knows but my heart…my heart says, “ENOUGH ALREADY!” There’s only so much it can take and it’s weary from taking so much.
I knew that it would still hurt nine months later. I knew. I just didn’t know how much.